Day 91 – Hurry hard!

I’ve never been particularly athletically inclined. Sure, I run. But if you think about it, anyone can run. I just do it more than most people. Most other sports, on the other hand, require a specific skill set that I just don’t have. Hockey’s out because I can’t skate backwards, nor have I mastered the art of stopping. Soccer’s a no-go thanks to the fancy footwork. Likewise with baseball, because although I’m alright at bat, I throw with the strength and accuracy of a blind baby monkey.

That said, I do love team sports. Uniforms, camaraderie, yelling things in unison – what’s not to like?

All this is to say that when I got an e-mail from the lovely Krista asking me if I wanted to join her curling team, I was delighted. Joining (and naming) team “Skipper? I just met her!” was an easy decision, as well as my Ninety-first Official Act of Happiness.

[The “captain” of a curling team is called a skip. Hence the hilarious name.]

Since early January, the team has been getting together on Sunday nights to show our opponents what we’re made of. We’ve got uniforms (jaunty scarves), rented equipment, and a tenuous grip on the rules. And we’ve got spirit. Yes we do.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Curling is basically Ice Bowling. It’s a sport for old, white Canadians, men with a penchant for wearing kilts, and people who like to yell. It’s shuffleboard for northerners, bocce ball for indoor kids.

Well, regardless of the stereotypes that may colour the sport, let me be the first to tell you that it’s a fucking blast. It’s got everything an exciting sport needs! Strategy, suspense, loud noises, jargon. The list goes on.

Over the past few weeks, our team has been slowly picking up the terminology. “Hurry hard!” means sweep like your life depends on it. “Right off!” means, ‘If you so much as lay broom to ice, I will disembowel you with my special curling shoe.’ “Take out” does not refer to pizza, but instead to knocking into your opponents’ stone as hard as you can. As a team full of beginners, mastering the complicated nomenclature is an essential step towards greatness.

The first few weeks were decidedly difficult. Most games, we didn’t even land a rock in the house, let alone score any points. Or understand the bloody scoring system. But with each passing game, our confidence grew, our lunges became steadier, and our aim became truer. Last night, all of our hard work culminated in our team’s first ever victory!

True, we had half an hour to warm up since our opponents were late. And true, we were playing against three inexperienced ladies, one of whom was 7 months pregnant. And true, we had to give up one of our players to join their team, as well as take on the sweeping duties of the pregnant lady, as her balance was less than ideal. But we won, goddammit! Don’t take that away from me!

The caliber of our opponents aside, it was without a doubt the best game we’ve played as a team. While our first few games were all about getting a feel for the ice and doing out best not to fall over (an ongoing challenge), last night’s game was about strategery. No, not strategy. Stategery. We came together as a team, mapped out our moves, executed our hand signals with precision, and won.

Our next steps as a team? Create a saucy curling-inspired pinup calendar to raise funds for beer money. I will be Miss September, and my pose will be the “hurry hard.”